They ask: I am a twenty-one (nearly twenty-two actually, damn) year old gal who has never had a partner or dated or had anybody interested in me at all really. I have two cats. Should I just lie down and accept my fate, that I’ll probably be eaten by them in my apartment when I die?
I answer: If you die one day in your apartment, yes, your cats might eat you. It’s not impossible, and that’s not the point. The point here is that you are alive and relatively uneaten at this point, and you need to stop lying down and be active in your own life.
The world doesn’t dole out landmarks. The world might make you feel that you should have a partner by 21, but it doesn’t hand one out for you. Stop giving up. Stop lying down. You are so young, and you know it and I know it. The world doesn’t give a shit about your timelines, so go make your own. The only person who is making you feel bad about not dating somebody by 21 is yourself. The only person making you feel rejected and weird is yourself.
Love is great. Ok, love is fine. Love is frustrating and painful and it starts and ends all the time. Also, everybody is looking for love. Statistically, we’re all just a bunch of meat monkeys trying to get hugged real hard, start tv shows with somebody else, and save up for vacations with. I can tell you “sure, you’ll find somebody,” but what’s that gonna do? Make you feel better before you lie down and wait for somebody to pick you up? I refuse to do that. Love yourself. Fight for yourself. Be active and not passive in your life, because nobody hands you anything you don’t reach for yourself.
Like I said, stop.
If I’m sounding harsh, fine..I am Tyra-rooting for you. I am rooting for all of you lonely, beautiful girls to iron up and live full and beautiful lives. Love is part of that ride. Love is not the end all be all. LIFE is. Go out there and feed the cats and start actively searching for the things you want.
Be happy, be active, take risks, put yourself out there, and love will come and go just like it does with anybody else.
But everything else will pass by just as quickly if you shut yourself out of it.